Would You Go to Mars

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Would You Go to Mars?
(The Ellen Show, YouTube 2015)
page 1/4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGQ7VH880_Y
Hey, did you all hear that story on the news?
(audience) “Yeah!”
I’ll be more specific. It’s the one about the billionaire who’s launching a trip to Mars. Did you hear
about that?
(audience) “Yeah!”
All right! They’re spending a billion dollars to go to Mars, and I guess it’s because there’s nothing left to
do down here. We’ve fixed all the freeways, and the traffic (jams), the airplanes are running on time. So
we should spend a billion dollars to do that!
The billionaire’s not going. He’s sending someone normal like a hundred or a thousandaire. And I’m not
sure he’s gonna get a lot of volunteers ‘cause listen to what the trip entails. If you don’t know, this is
really what is going to happen: you will travel in a small capsule half the size of an RV; the whole trip
will take five hundred and one days; there are no showers; limited food rations; only one room and your
drinking water made from your own recycled sweat. It still sounds better than that last Carnival cruise!
But, you know, I mean...
Uh, they’re saying the best candidates for the trip are a married couple. Who here would go to Mars with
your spouse? How many would return with your spouse? I’m sure there are some single candidates that
you could send to Mars, like people who like Star Trek ‘because A, they love space and B, they can go
years without a relationship .... I think! I dunno know how to do it! I think it would be hard for a married
couple to be together for that long because you would run out of things to talk about.
“Honey, how was your day?”
“Exactly the same as yours!”
I don’t care how great your relationship is; five hundred and one days is a long time to spend with your
spouse. You know how when you go to dinner and you get in one of those stupid little fights and the car
ride home is a little awkward? That’s usually like about twenty minutes. Imagine it lasting four hundred
and eighty-nine days!
It would be hard to keep the romance up too because, you know, you ask your spouse if they notice
anything different about you and they say, “Yeah, you haven’t showered in eighty one days! But the
worst part of being gone that long is all the television you’d miss. Can you imagine going five hundred
and one days without seeing me dance?
Vocabulary
00. specific
01. I guess
précis
je pense, je suppose
page 2/4
02. There’s nothing left to do
03. Down here
04. We’ve fixed
05. the freeways
06. the traffic (jams)
07. are running on time
08. a hundred(aire)/thousand(aire)
09. he’s gonna (going to) get a lot of volunteers
10. ‘cause = because
11. what the trip entails
12. half the size of an RV (recreational vehicle)
13. will take 501 days
14. no showers
15. sweat
16. it still sounds better
17. last Carnival cruise
18. your spouse
19. single candidates
20. A, B
21. I dunno = I don’t know
22. for that long
23. to run out of things to talk about
24. I don’t care
25. how great your relationship is
26. to spend
27. you know how
28. you get into one of those stupid little fights
29. the car ride back home
30. a little awkward
31. lasts
32. imagine it lasting
33. to keep the romance up
34. if they notice
35. the worst part of being gone that long
il n’y a plus rien à faire
ici (en bas) sur Terre
nous avons réparé
les autoroutes
les embouteillages
sont à l’heure
des mots inventés par Ellen pour signifier
des gens qui ont des centaines ou des milliers
de dollars
trouver beaucoup de volontaires
ce que le voyage implique
la moitié de la taille d’un camping car
durera, nécessitera
pas de douche
la transpiration
cela semble toujours mieux que
la dernière croisière de la société Carnival lors
de laquelle il y a eu des problèmes et les
passagers se sont trouvés « naufragés » sans
toilettes, la clim,etc
votre époux/épouse
des candidats célibataires
premièrement, deuxièmement
aussi longtemps que ça
épuiser des sujets de conversation
Ca m’est égale, peu importe
à quel point votre relation est bonne
passer
vous savez, par exemple, ..
vous tombez dans une de ces petites disputes
ridicules
le trajet de retour à la maison en voiture
gênant
dure
imaginez que cela dure ..
garder le coté amoureux
s’ils remarquent
le plus dur d’être parti aussi longtemps
page 3/4
Would You Go to Mars?
(The Ellen Show, YouTube 2015)
Exercise: fill in the blanks with the correct words
Hey, did you all hear that story on the news?
(audience) “Yeah!”
I’ll be more s________. It’s the one about the billionaire who’s launching a trip to Mars. Did you hear
(précise)
about that?
(audience) “ Yeah!”
All right! They’re spending a billion dollars to go to Mars, and I g
it’s because there’s nothing l
(je suppose)
do down here. We’ve fixed all the f
, and the traffic (j
(autoroutes)
(plus rien à faire)
), the airplanes are r
(embouteillages)
to
on time. So
(sont à l’heure)
we should spend a billion dollars to do that!
The billionaire’s not going. He’s sending someone normal like a hundred or a thousandaire. And I’m
not sure he’s going to g__ a lot of volunteers ‘cause listen to what the trip e____. If you don’t know, this
(trouver)
(implique)
is what is really going to happen: you will travel in a small capsule half the size of an RV; the whole trip
will take five hundred and one days; there are no s_______; limited food rations; only one room and your
(douches)
drinking water made from your own recycled s
. It still s
(transpiration)
better than that last Carnival cruise!
(semble)
But, you know, I mean...
Uh, they’re saying the best candidates for the trip are a married couple. Who here would go to Mars with
your s_____? How many would return with your s____? I’m sure there are some s _____candidates that
(époux, épouse)
(époux, épouse)
(célibataires)
you could send to Mars, like people who like Star Trek ‘because A, they love space and B, they can go
years without a relationship .... I think! I don’t know how to do it! I think it would be hard for a married
couple to be together for t____ long because you would r o
of things to talk about.
(aussi longtemps que ça)
“Honey, how was your day?”
“Exactly the same as yours!”
(épuiseriez)
page 4/4
Id
c
how great your relationship is; five hundred and one days is a long time to s
(Ca m’est égale, peu importe)
with your
(passer)
spouse. You know h__ when you go to dinner and you g i one of those stupid little f_____ and the
(par exemple)
(tombez, avez)
car r_____ home is a little a
(trajet)
(disputes)
? That’s usually like about twenty minutes. Imagine it lasting
(gênant)
four hundred and eighty-nine days!
It would be hard to k
the romance u
(garder le côté amoureux)
too because, you know, you ask your spouse if they n______
(remarquent)
anything different about you and they say, “Yeah, you haven’t showered in eighty one days! But the
worst part of being g_____ that long is all the television you’d miss. Can you imagine going five hundred
(parti)
and one days without seeing me dance?