24481 The Compassionate Friends Brochure.indd

HOW TO
TO HELP
HELPA
HOW
HOW
TO
HELP
AA
GRIEVING PARENT
PARENT
GRIEVING
GRIEVING
PARENT
Grief
Grief is
is aaa natural
naturaland
andnormal
normalreaction
reactionto
to
Grief
is
natural
and
normal
reaction
to
loss.
loss. Grief
Grief is
is aaa physical,
physical,emotional,
emotional,
loss.
Grief
is
physical,
emotional,
spiritual
and
psychological
spiritual
and
psychological
response;itititis
spiritual and psychological response;
response;
isis
neither
neither aaa sign
sign of
ofweakness
weaknessnor
noraaalack
lackof
of
neither
sign
of
weakness
nor
lack
of
faith.
Grief
is
painful,
confusing
and
faith.
Grief
is
painful,
confusing,
and
faith. Grief is painful, confusing, and
isolating,
isolating, and
and lasts
lastsmuch
muchlonger
longerthan
thanour
our
isolating,
and
lasts
much
longer
than
our
society
recognizes.
Bereaved
parents
are
society
recognizes.
Bereaved
parents
are
society recognizes. Bereaved parents are
more
likely
to
cope
with
their
grief
in
a
more likely
likely to
to cope
cope with
with their
their grief
griefin
inaa
more
healthy
way
when
they
receive
healthy
way
when
they
receive
healthy way when they receive
continuing
continuing support
supportfrom
fromfriends,
friends,
continuing
support
from
friends,
relatives,
co-workers
and
relatives,
co-workers
and
employers.
relatives, co-workers and employers.
employers.
•••
••
••
••
There
There are
areno
nomagic
magicwords
wordsto
totake
takeaway
away
There
are
no
magic
words
to
take
away
the
pain.
“I’M
SO
SORRY”
is
the pain.
pain. “I’M
“I’M SO
SO SORRY”
SORRY” isisreally
reallyall
all
the
really
all
é
s,
or
trying
to
that
can
be
said.
Clich
é
s,
or
trying
to
that
can
be
said.
Clich
that can be said. Clichés, or trying to
state
state something
somethingpositive
positiveabout
aboutthe
thedeath,
death
something
positive
about
the
death
will
the
situation
and
will
will minimize
minimize
the
situation
and
will
not
minimize the situation and will not
not
be
helpful.
helpful.
be helpful.
JUST
JUST BE
BETHERE
THERETO
TOLISTEN.
LISTEN.Allow
Allow
JUST
BE
THERE
TO
LISTEN.
Allow
the
bereaved
parent
to
express
the bereaved
bereaved parent
parent to
to express
expressthe
the
anger,
the anger,
anger,
pain,
disbelief
or
guilt
they
may
be
disbelief or
or guilt
guilt they
they may
maybe
be
pain, disbelief
feeling.
feeling.
feeling.
Let
your genuine
genuineconcern
concernand
andcaring
caring
Let your
your
genuine
concern
and
caring
show.
show.
Be
Be available
available
to
listen,
run
errands,
help
availableto
tolisten,
listen,run
runerrands,
errands,help
help
with
other
children,
make
a
meal, or
with other
other children,
children, make
make aa meal,
meal,or
or
whatever
else seems
necessary at
the
whatever
whatever else
else seems
seems necessary
necessaryatatthe
the
time.
time.
••
Avoid
judgements of
any kind.
Avoid
Avoid judgements
judgements of
of any
any kind.
kind.
••
Remember
the child’s
birthday, or
Remember
Remember the
the child’s
child’s birthday,
birthday,or
or
anniversary
of
death
with
aa card,
a
anniversary
of
death
with
card,
anniversary of death with a card,aa
phone
call
or
a
visit.
Let
the
parent
phone
call
or
visit.
phonethat
callyou
or aaremember
visit. Let
Let the
the parent
parent
know
too.
know
know that
that you
you remember
remember too.
too.
“We
“Weneed
neednot
not
“We
need
not
walk
walkalone,
alone,
walk
alone,
we
weare
are
we
are
The
The
The
Compassionate
Compassionate
Compassionate
Friends”.
Friends”.
Friends”.
WHENA
CHILDDIES
DIES
WHEN
WHEN
AACHILD
CHILD
DIES
THE
THE
THE
COMPASSIONATE
FRIENDS
// /
COMPASSIONATE
FRIENDS
COMPASSIONATE
FRIENDS
LES
COMPATISSANTS
LESAMIS
AMIS
COMPATISSANTS
LES
AMIS
COMPATISSANTS
CONTACTS
CONTACTS
CONTACTS
Louise
LouiseBérubé
Bérubé
Louise
Bérubé
(613)
(613)424-4205
424-4205
(613)
424-4205
Eileen
Eileen&
AndrewBond
Bond
Eileen
&&Andrew
Andrew
Bond
(613)
692-4521
(613)692-4521
692-4521
(613)
Arthur
Cordell
Jean
JeanDavis
Davis
Jean
Davis
(613)
832-1007
(613)
233-0098
(613)832-1007
832-1007
(613)
Janice
Janiceand
andBarry
BarryEddy
Eddy
Janice
and
Barry
Eddy
(613)
424-1765
(613)424-1765
424-1765
(613)
Pheroza
Merchant
Susan
Susan
Mannion
SusanMannion
Mannion
(613)
839-0219
(613)
267-7171
(613)
(613)267-7171
267-7171
E-mail:
[email protected]
E-mail:
E-mail:[email protected]
[email protected]
Website:
www.tcfottawa.net
Website:
Website:www.tcfottawa.net
www.tcfottawa.net
TCF
Ottawa gratefully
acknowledges
TCF
TCFOttawa
Ottawagratefully
gratefullyacknowledges
acknowledges
financial
support
from
financial
financialsupport
supportfrom
from
The
Community
Foundation
of Ottawa
The
Community
Foundation
The Community FoundationofofOttawa
Ottawa
Charitable Organization No: 86493-2520-RR0001
Charitable
CharitableOrganization
OrganizationNo:
No:86493-2520-RR0001
86493-2520-RR0001
An
self-help,
Aninternational
international
self-help,
An
international
self-help,
non
profit
organization,
nonprofit
profitorganization,
organization,
non
offering
friendship,
offeringfriendship,
friendship,
offering
understanding,
grief
understanding,
grief
understanding,
grief
education
and
educationand
and
education
hope
for
the
hope
hopefor
forthe
the
future
to
future
futuretoto
all
bereaved
parents
allallbereaved
parents
bereaved
parents
OTTAWA
VALLEY
// OUTAOUAIS
OTTAWA
VALLEY
OUTAOUAIS
OTTAWA
VALLEY
/ OUTAOUAIS
CHAPTER
CHAPTER
CHAPTER
31
Maplehill
Way
3131Maplehill
Way
Maplehill
Way
Ottawa,
Ontario
Ottawa,
Ottawa,Ontario
Ontario
K2C
3H1
K2C
K2C3H1
3H1
In our lives we must all learn to deal with
the death of friends and family, as well as
our own mortality. Few of us, however,
know the particular devastation that comes
with the death of a child. We expect our
children to outlive us, to be a continuation
of our own lives. The shattering of this
expectation is unique and complex and
cannot be likened to any other loss.
THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS
began in England in 1969 after two
families whose sons died in the same
hospital found they could support each
other in a special way. These parents, with
Rev. Simon Stephens, founded the society
of the Compassionate Friends. In 1977,
Joan and Bob Martin established the first
Canadian chapter in Winnipeg.
MEMBERSHIP is open to any bereaved
parent regardless of their child’s age or
cause of death. Bereaved siblings
(sixteen years or older) and grandparents
are also welcome. There are no
membership dues. Donations are voluntary
and tax receipts are issued. TCF has no
religious affiliation.
“Grief becomes a tolerable and creative
experience only when love enables it to be
shared with someone who really
understands.”
Rev. Simon Stephens, TCF Founder
OUR PURPOSE is to aid in the positive
reconciliation of grief and foster the
physical and emotional health of bereaved
parents and their surviving children.
Aims of TCF are:
• To offer support and friendship to any
bereaved parent regardless of age,
race, creed or financial status.
•
To provide meetings where feelings
and emotions can be shared in an
atmosphere of trust, empathy, and
confidentiality. If parents prefer, they
can just listen.
•
To provide information about the
grieving process through our
newsletter, programs and library.
•
To listen with understanding and
provide “telephone friends”.
•
To provide contact with bereaved
parents who have worked through their
grief and found fresh hope and
strength for living.
•
To communicate with professionals
involved with bereaved parents.
Personne ne comprend la douleur d’un
parent qui a perdu un ou plusieurs enfants
par la mort comme un autre parent dans la
même situation. C’est une douleur
incomparable à une autre.
Le but des Amis compatissants du
Canada est d’apporter un soutien
émotionnel à tous les parents endeuillés
qui vivent ce cauchemar. Il entretien
l’amitié, la compréhension, l’éducation sur
le deuil et l’espoir pour le futur.
Cette organisation internationale de groupe
d’entraide de toutes dénominations est
sans but lucratif et il n’y a aucun frais.
“Nous ne sommes pas
seuls, nous sommes les
Amis compatissants”.