7 - Cardinal Scholar - Ball State University

An Honors Thesis (HONRS 499)
by
Sarah S. McConnell
Margaret Dimoplon and Dr. Donald Gilman
~7-~'--~'~
Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana
April 1995
Graduating May 6, 1995
SpCoil
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Acknowledgments
I would like to thank Ms. Dimoplon and Dr. Gilman for all of their help in
seeing this project through. They spent many hours reading drafts, guiding me
in the right direction, and giving me encouragement when needed. I couldn't
have worked with two better advisors.
I would like to extend a special thanks to Dr. Koontz and Mark Hamilton
for helping me to become a better poet and for encouraging me to do my best
work.
Thanks to my parents: they have been patient, strong role models, and
have given me wisdom and encouragement to pursue my dreams and to strive
for excellence. I attribute much 'Jf who I am today to their loving guidance.
Statement of Purpose
When I was four years old, my father asked me what I wonted for my fifth
birthday. I told him that there was nothing I wonted more than to have my own
camero. I got my wish: a block, Polaroid instant camero. I remember toking
pictures of everyone at my party that day. There was a certain ma(~ic in this
new boxy contraption that could toke images and develop them befcre my eyes,
in a matter of seconds. The camero and I have hod a love affair ever since.
Last year when I studied in France, I traveled to places that I hod olly dreamed
of before. I took pictures of everything I sow, hoping I'd be able to share them
with people someday.
I started writing little poems when I was nine years old. My parents would
usually post them on the bulletin board in our kitchen. Sometimes I would write
little stories and make drawings to go with them. My grandmother usualy took
those and many are still in her house in Montano.
I have been creating images all my life in the form of photograph~3,
poems, stories and drawings. I feel it is one of the things I do best This
project is a compilation of my original work combining poetry, short stories and
photography; therefore, I am colling this project "Images. '1
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Bearers of the Dead
Patrizia watches the man through the window.
Blackened fingernails fondle a rusty zipper as the man swivels his hips
outward. He holds himself and relieves his bladder onto the corner of a white,
sandstone building.
A small child with carrot hair points. His eyes widen.
"Regard, Maman! II pisse sur la batiment!"
His mother pulls the sleeve of his navy coat, uses her hands as a shield over
his eyes, and finally nudges the boy in the opposite direction toward a carousel with
different types of animals to ride.
"Mon cheri, regard pas I'homme. Est-ce que tu veux voir les animaux'?
lis sont tellement beaux. J'aime I'elephant."
The child doesn't answer, but instead, twists his head backwards to see the
man scratching at his torn blue jeans. The man sits behind a small, bent cardboard
box that says, "Pour manger, merci."
The child points to the writing on the box and begs his mother to give the man
a few francs so he can buy a bright. red lolly. The mother picks her child up and
supporting him on her hip, walks in the opposite direction. The child continues to
watch the man over his mother's shoulder as they disappear onto a narrow side
street.
Patrizia sits with her lover inside a warm cafe, sipping her coffee, watching the
people outside awkwardly navigate around each other and down the narrow alleyways.
Soon she puts her hands over the top of her lover's newspaper to feed him an orange
segment. She tries to laugh and put on a smile as the wet juice trickles down his
chin and onto his gray trousers. He caresses her finely lotioned hand, avoiding those
green eyes which have become a warehouse full of unhappiness.
"The coffee here is not as good as the coffee we get in our little cafe down the
street. Don't you agree? These French ... they just don't..."
His words trail off as he unfolds his newspaper again and starts to read the
business section. She takes a burgundy mirror from her purse and probes her face to
see what is revealed. Her eyes are more tired than before and the smile lines which
were once bright have taken on a dull appearance. Her facial muscles threaten to
crack when the faintest smile starts to wash across her face.
She folds her image
back into her mirror and slides it into her purse.
"Oh the coffee here is just fine, darling. Everything here is quite fine."
Patrizia watches the homeless man searching his pockets and, with his slow
eyes, watching women in long coats. His charcoal colored hands find a discarded butt
on the sidewalk. He takes a green lighter from his pocket and it sputters into a
flame. He smokes the small bit of crumpled tobacco at the end of the cigarette; while
the others pass by, never looking down. But Patrizia stares fascinated by this
homeless man with his jacket worn out by night spent sleeping on the pavement. its
dirt becoming a part of him and his shelter. It stains him just as the look of disease
stains someone dying of cancer. She wonders how Franz can sit lazily behind his
newspaper, disconnecting any emotion from the world.
Francesco smokes a cigarette from behind his newspaper. Patrizia
accidentally drops her stirring spoon and splashes some coffee onto the table.
Awaiter, who watches from across the room, raises his eyebrows and motions to
another waiter. Franz sternly looks through her.
"Well. Franz, I have never been quite right since the procedure and all you can
do is sit and smoke behind that newspaper."
She pours some milk into her coffee and avoids his gaze. She watches the
liquid circle outwards and thinks of how the blood circled outwards in the toilet for
days after the abortion. Francesco's eyes cut her for a moment. until he shakes at
his newspaper, and disappears into the business section again. The only movement at
the table is the movement of his smoke, rising and curling, like a stretching cat, into
the air.
"In the morning, you're not the one who sees blood everywhere ... blood on the
walls, faces in the blood, and I can't escape it. You don't have a bloody predator to
run from when you sit so calmly behind your newspaper day after day."
Franz slaps the newspaper onto the table and runs a firm hand through his
thick. black hair.
"We've had this conversation too many times before. I would like to try and
put it behind me, but I can't when you're always bringing it up. The past is over, now
forget it."
He plays with his newspaper and stares at her. He motions to the waiter.
"Why don't you have an anise? It will calm you."
He chews the skin around the outside of his fingers. When the waiter arrives
he says, "Deux anises, s'il vous plait."
Patrizia mumbles under her breath. "Get me drunk. yes, that will solve
everything. Let's have a toast to a destroyed life, Franz."
She looks out the window again. The man outside sleeps, using his cardboard
box as a pillow. A thin crepe paper jacket covers his back. His arms are clutched
together tightly. The used cigarette lays next to his hand and Patrizia imagines that
he must be dreaming of his mother. When he carne horne from school on cold days
his mother must have been waiting at the door, ready with small pastrie:) and warm
milk. She must have poured him mugs full of milk and wrapped her strong arms
around him. Patrizia knows she would have been a mother like that. The man rolls
over and wipes his beard. He reaches for some old newspapers to cover his legs. He
coughs and settles back into his box pillow. She is sure that he is remembering.
The waiter returns with 2 anises. Franz gives Patrizia 'drink the damn thing'
eyes. She covers the glass with her delicate hands and doesn't drink. His eyes travel
back behind the paper and his hands bring the tall glass of anise with him. Patrizia
doesn't drink because the licorice taste will bring it all back.
The night before the abortion, she drank 12 glasses of anise mixed with water.
They were at their favorite bar. Their friends, the smiling wall posters of svelte,
happy women, the taste of the anise in spotted drinking glasses, led her mind slowly
and deliriously away from thoughts of the operation. None of her friends had known
and they all laughed around her as she wilted in their midst. Franz's slckly
handsome friends eyed different women around the room while their girlfriends were
deep in converesation about their office jobs or relationships. It was always the same
situation: the girls wanted to be married and the boys hesitated. Always the same
game. But they laughed; laughed like plastic faces around her, never noticing
anything but the next drink or the next pair of legs in a mini-skirt. She privately
clutched the rosary under the table asking to be forgiven. That night, after Franz
carried her home, she vomited blood. She remembered the clear liquid coming out of
her stomach, the emptiness and finally the blood. Each time she thought of that
night. she felt driven to crouch her body over the rim again, sink her head into the
water, and never come up for air.
Franz finally folded his newspaper up and put on his large, plaid overcoat. He
dropped some change on the table and thanked the waiters. Patrizia wrapped her
green, wool scarf around her neck. Franz opened the door and they descended a step
into the square.
The homeless man was now stirring from under the newspapers. Patrizia
watched him, her eyes like a mother hawk. He started to get up as their footsteps
approached. Now she was able to see his face closely. His chin and cheeks were
covered by an unkempt. gray beard. His eyes were piercing black ice. Patrizla could
see the man's fine breath as he exhaled. Franz walked through the stale air admiring
the square. Patrizia watched the man.
"The train doesn't leave until 11:00. Shall we have a bit of a walk?"
Patrizia followed Franz past the man who now seemed to be looking at their
finely polished shoes with tortured eyes. Patrizia started to walk toward the man but
Franz grabbed her arm.
"What do you think you can do?!"
Patrizia shook his arm off and walked calmly up to the man, smiling. She
memorized his bushy brows, lined forehead and thin lips. She reached into her purse
and spilled some change into his hands. The man said, "merci," and looked down into
the money.
She returned to Franz. He grabbed her hand and said, "Come on, I'm losing
my patience with you."
Patrizia stopped.
"Don't look through me, look into my eyes."
Franz continued to pull her along. Patrizia broke away from his grasp and
stopped.
"How could you just ignore that human life back there? You ignore everything
emotionaL"
He curled his lip, raised his hand into the air, as if to strike her, but she
looked back with a dark stare and didn't move.
"You stupid girl. You're always worrying about things you cannot change.
Always worrying about this and that. You only feel sorry for that man because you
feel guilty. 1 don't want to hear another word. Come on."
He continued walking and she started to cry.
"You disffllS/ me."
She wobbled away from him. across the square, gasping for air, shoulders
slumped over, mascara forming gritty, grey pools in her hands. People watched her.
Children pointed at her. But when Patrizia looked at them, all she saw were mothers
holding hands with fetuses who eat candy.
Franz came after her and grabbed her by the shoulder.
"You're causing a scene~ Bitch~" he hissed. "People are staring at you."
He grabbed her around the shoulders and pulled her toward the train; her
arms, face, shoulders and legs, a marionette's as they crossed the square.
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An Ugly Story
Gordon lay rea<ling across a green and beige plaid blanket which covered his bed.
Sometimes, at night, he listened to the international time signal on a black short-wave
radio which sat in the far comer of his dormitory room Van Gogh, Lautrec and Dali
prints covered the walls. Above his bed were three black and white aviation photographs
from the 20's. He admired these women in the photographs with pin-curl hair, small
outlined lips, and skinny waists set offby baggy pants. The shape of their mouths vaguely
reminded him of the cherries he picked in his grandfather's backyard as a child. Gordon
passed his nights in his narrow dorm room rea<ling books by Flaubert, Sartre, and Camus.
When he was younger, he was teased because of his teeth, which overlapped in the front,
making large gaps at the side of his smile. His parents had always told him they'd "grow
into" his mouth. He waited, looking in the mirror each day, to see ifhis teeth had been
magically transformed into a magazine-perfect smile during the night. Instead, he only
grew taller, and his jaw wider, which only made the gaps bigger.
Most nights he ate dinner with his sister, both of them crowded around his small
writing desk, eating some sort of vegetable puree or casserole accompanied by bread and
small pieces of bacon. Sometimes they listened to the short-wave during dinner,
grumbling as the world news reports announced a famine, flood, or war. Gordon patiently
chewed his meal, always caught in his own little world, as he would clean his plate with
the bread and finish off the last bits of bacon. They rarely had visitors, but were happy to
receive them when they did come.
When the girl had come the night before, she was the :first pretty girl to smile at
him and keep a straight face when she caught a glimpse of his teeth. His sister hid behind
her mousy hair. They had never had a visitor like that, and the pretty girl had brilliant
golden hair, and eyes Gordon thought much like the color of the sunflower stalks in one
of his Van Gogh prints. She had pink cheeks and beautiful, large teeth that seemed to ask
him to come closer when she smiled at him She had come with one of his student friends
in the dorm who had wanted to introduce her. Gordon smoothed his hair and blushed
after he shook her delicate, warm hand. He offered them tea and they stood hand in hand
as he boiled a kettle of water on an old hot plate. She looked around the room and
inquired about the girls in the photographs. She said her favorite was the painting of a
sunset by his window.
Gordon explained, "I wanted an ocean sunset in my room, and since I couldn't
have a real one, I asked my friend to paint one."
His sister sat in the far comer of his room watching her like a jealous bird.
The girl walked over to his plywood bookshelf and ran her fingers over the tops of
the books. When she came to Sartre she casually said, "He didn't believe in love either."
Gordon poured the tea into blue and white china cups and handed them to her
boyfriend. "Don't you think she is the most beautiful girl you have ever seen?" her
boyfriend said as he handed her a cup.
"Oh, hush. Gordon, would you mind if I took a look at some of these books?"
"Please, help yourself"
She pulled a book from the shelf and flipped through some of the pages. He
watched her fingers press against this book which he had found in the bottom of a dingy
box at a used book store. It had been marked down to a quarter and Gordon couldn't
leave without this book which displayed a slightly tom, orange cloth cover. It was one of
his favorites, as it contained dreary black and whites of various artists and authors from
the earlier part of the century. He especially liked the skin of the book, which, apparently
from much use, was now visible on one of the comers where some of the orange cloth had
been worn away.
"Look at this. Here are some pictures of the existentialists. I adore Camus."
She sat down on the bed with the book. Gordon stood above her while her
boyfriend cuddled in close to her and pointed to a picture of Samuel Beckett.
"He was ugly."
"Yes, but not as ugly as I." said Gordon, only halfjokingly.
She turned the page and sipped at her tea.
"Have you read Les Mots?"
"No."
"Oh. Well, personally, I adore Sartre's pessimism toward love."
"Yes."
Gordon caught her eye for an instant and then averted his gaze feeling as ifher
eyes were as piercing as the Medusa's. He began to feel uneasy, but kept a confident
facade. He couldn't let his friend in on his secret. She continued sipping at her tea and
thumbing the yellowed pages of book. Gordon turned his back for an instant and no
sooner did she have her nose up to Van Gogh's "Starry Night."
"He was cool."
"My gir~ he simply wasn't coo~ he was a genius."
The girl closed the book, finished the last drop oftea, which had become cold, and
pulled her boyfriend up from the bed.
"It was nice meeting you. I hope we can meet again soon."
Gordon prepared himself for bed as soon as the couple left. He crawled into the
cold, white sheets alone, trying to concentrate on the girl's teeth. It took a while for the
bed and Gordon's navy pajamas to warm up. He pretended a brown, square throw pillow
was her head, even though it lacked her nose and beautiful teeth. When he dreamt, they
were in a field of Van Gogh's sunflowers. She was running ahead ofhim, her blue cotton
dress floating in the air. She moved like a cloud, covering surfaces in her shadow,
enveloping everything. Her hair was more bright than the sun, trailing like a comet
behind her. She smiled at him as she ran. Then he awoke.
He hit his pillow once and buried his head under the sheets, hoping the dream
would return. It was 7:00 a.m and the coo~ morning light was creeping like fingers over
his carpet, until finally it reached his bed. He got up, pulled on some jeans and went over
to the sink to wash his face. He did not look in the mirror, as he didn't want to be
reminded of his face, which would look even more hideous next to the memory of hers.
He brushed his teeth and ran wet fingers through his hair. An hour later, he left for his
comparative literature course.
When Gordon's sister came for dinner, the pictures had been taken off the wall.
"What did you do that for? I thought you loved those aviation girls... "
"None of your business, is it?"
"Since when did you start keeping secrets from me?"
Gordon stared at the blank portion of wall above his bed where the photos used to
be.
"She'd never love you, Gordon."
"Shut up."
"It's true! Just LOOK at yourself1"
"Just shut up and leave, you don't have to make it worse."
His sister slammed the door behind her.
Gordon stood in front of a small mirror above his white porcelain sink. He took a
toothbrush out of a box sitting on his shelf: applied green toothpaste, brushed his gappy
teeth and spit. He decided to face his image in the mirror. He touched his acne scarred
cheeks and ran his index finger over his thick brown bone. He cursed his eyes and put his
finger on his nose to make it appear smaller in profile. He straightened his shoulders,
sucking his stomach in and tried to put a slight smile on his face without showing his teeth.
He wet his hair with water from the long, silver faucet and tried to smooth down its coarse
texture, mumbling to himself: "Just my luck having hair like a brillo pad." He stood on his
tip toes to make himself appear taller, even if it was just for an instant. He left the mirror
feeling completely shattered.
When the girl returned with her boyfriend after a few days, the first thing Gordon
said to her was, "Welcome to my lovely room again. I guess my seductive decorating had
worked- it lured you back."
"Where did the pictures go?" she asked.
After the dream, he had feh something changed inside ofhim, so he had tom those
pictures off the wall and hidden them inside his closet. The aviator girls didn't smile at him
the same way she did.
"Oh those were just on loan from the friend who painted my beautiful sunset," he
lied, "he decided to take them back. "
Gordon shrugged and became hot with embarrassment.
"That's a shame."
She walked over to his bookshelf and asked if she could see his orange covered
book again. She removed it from the shelf and sat down on his bed which had been
sloppily made that morning. The two boys joked as she read. The girl looked up from
her book, piercing Gordon with her bright green eyes.
"I heard you can recite some poems in old English. "
fIrm not good, really. "
"Oh please?? rd really love to hear one. "
"Well... ok. .. rll do just one."
Gordon enthusiastically broke into a poem in German. He waved his hands in the
air, softened his voice, gradually became louder, and brought the poem to a crescendo.
When he finished, she clapped wildly, and to him, her smile seemed to spill joy into his
room He wished he could keep her.
"You were really wonderful! Can you do some regional dialects?"
"I suppose. "
"Oh do some for me!"
"Ok here's a southerner that gets lost in Boston and has to ask for directions:
'Hey ya'll, I need some dee-recktions ta git back ta the
sowth!'
Well, huhney, that's yoyr pwoblem- and wheh did you geht those
ovoyalls?? The Salvaytion Ahmy?!'
She laughed and said, "You're really talented. Where did you learn to do dialects
that well?"
"I just imitate what I see on TV... it's no big deal."
"Y ou should do something with those."
"It's a long drive back to your university, so maybe we should be going,"
said her boyfriend, sharply ending the conversation..
"I didn't even realize what time it was," she said, looking at her watch.
They stood up and walked over to the door.
"It has been really great talking with you, Gordon."
He smiled, being comfortable for the first time with his teeth, and leaned against
one of his gray storage cabinets watching her as she looked around as if to memorize the
room She walked toward the shelf where the box sat and reached out to touch it with
white fingers. It was about eight inches high and rectangular, the color of African violets
and looked as if it had been made around the turn of the century. It was painted with
colorful advertisements for chocolates, milk, India tea and flour.
Gordon said, "Do you like it?"
"I love it! "
He opened the box's lid and dumped toothbrushes, scented yellow soaps, a razor
and a blue comb onto the shelf. He wiped the box off with a towe~ stood directly in front
of her with outreached hands saying, "Here, have it. It would really mean more to me if
you took it. "
"I couldn't possibly do that. You were using it ... "
He pressed closer to her and urged her with his eyes.
"It would mean a lot to me if you would take it. "
She took the box into her small hands and caressed its edges. She opened the lid
to find a tin interior which had been polished into a brassy color and mirrored her faint
reflection as the box caught the light. Now she smiled and that smile flowed into her eyes
and lit up her entire face. Her hair seemed illuminated, and she shone all over. She
captured the stars in her pupils and gave them like a gift, to him
"Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me."
Her boyfriend, looking jealous, clamped onto her hand.
"We really should be going."
Those words which drifted out his window seemed swallowed on the black
horizon. Gordon was alone again. He hadn't eaten dinner with his sister since the first
time the girl had come to visit. He sat at the comer of his bed, shoulders hanging, elbows
on knees, looking at the combs and razors and toothbrushes he had dumped out of the box
the night before. The toothbrushes sulked, while the soaps lay scattered, seeming to
search for a direction and by looking at them, unmoved, he felt a link with the girl.
Finally his sister came.
"I heard that you gave one of our antiques away. "
"So?"
"So she made a complete joke out of you. rm surprised you're not today's
laughing stock around the dorm! You probably sat there like a grinning fool and just
handed over the box as if it were some dime store thing. "
Gordon turned his back and stared at the blank spot on the wall where the aviation
girls used to smile.
"Too ashamed to answer? Beautiful girls only come to exploit people like you."
She walked over to the window, lifted the lower pane, and lit up a cigarette.
"Want one?"
"You know I don't smoke."
"Ahhh so now Mr. Lemon Mouth talks. Just don't forget who your real friends
are."
Gordon hit the desk pushing the toothbrushes, the comb, sending the soaps flying,
he fell down to the floor and curled into a fetal position, rocking himself back and forth.
His sister stared out the window before closing it lightly, and leaving the room He pulled
at the carpet and cursed. After a while, he crawled over to the closet, retrieved the
photographs, and tore them to pieces. All of the cherry lips and eyes and delicate noses
were all out of order. He opened his window, threw them out, and they all fluttered like
confetti at a wedding. Gordon turned from the window and muttered to himse1£ "some
puzzles can never be put back together again."
Ii
"
I
;,
--,
...
"Lorsque Ie monde entier reconnait la beaute comme beaute, ceci est la laideur e1lememe." -d'apres Ie Tao Teh Chlng
Les Enfants QIDCK
"Quand j'ctais jeune, les gens pouvaient alIer pendant la joum' se detendre dans
des espaces libres que l'on appelait "parcs" sans s'inquieter du poison ni d'attraper Ie
cancer de la peau. Oui, il fut un temps oa les espaces libres existaient. II y avait de l'herbe
et des arbres ~ perte de vue. Dans mon jardin, il y avait un vieux peuplier dont les
rameaux se dressaient vers Ie ciel. En eft, papa y accrochait une corde
alaquelle ~ait
attachee une robuste planche et nous nous amusions dehors dans Ie soleil couchant
pendant des heures. A l'epoque, nous n'avions pas besoin de porter de masques
ils n'etaient pas non plus ~ la mode. Certes, l'air et l'eau commencaient
agaz, et
a~trtpollues, mais
ce n'etait que Ie d~but. C'etait avant que les pays dtveloppts ne soient surpeuplts, avant
que chaque habitant de la terre n'ait eu une voiture, et avant que la population n'ait triple'
en seulement 50 ans. Quais, c'ltait les jours o~... "
M. Shortbread se levait les yeux de son bureau et il arrange ant Ie texte qu'il dictait
a\ son ordinateur.
"Classe ia sous Ie nom 'Ie monde' et imprime Ie tout de suite, ordinateur."
lljeta un coup d'oeil aux tomates et aux melons d'inttrieur qui venaient bien sous
Ie nouveau systeme de lumi~res artificielles que des cherchers avaient inventees l'ann'
demi~e. II quitta sa chaise et se promena dans 1a salle en c1opinant, se parlant alui-m~me
dans des phrases hach~es. Aide'd'une canne de bois synthetique, il faisait des pas
prudents.
"Quais, ces melons ne ressemblent pas
Fichue couche d'ozone!
aceux que l'on avait quandj'etais petit.
n a fallu que ces ignorants, hmmm .. Qu'est-ce que c'est que ja?
Ahhh. Ce n'est qu'une tomate plus rouge et plus grosses que les autres. Les
manipulations g~e1iques. Ca n'est toujours pas si bon ne que celle que rna mere avait
f
cultiv:e dans notre jardin. ~a a Ie goUt de plastique. II a fallu que cette fichue couche
d'ozone disparaisse. Entin, l'espoir, c'est pas n'importe quoi. C'est un grand sac plein de
vide. Esperer, ouais, toujours espe'rer, j'esperais que mes petits enfants pouvaient aller
jouer au dehors un jour. "
M. Shortbread alla faire un tour de laboratoire des fruits et legumes en
marmonnant, se mettant ~ son travail quotidien en se rappelant du monde d'autrefois. Mlle
V venait justement de lui ecrire. Elle avait dit de lui que c'etait un vieux: fou, tout comme
Ie reste des employes. Cependant, il faisait son travail, il avait m~me garde des notes
detaillees sur les recherches genetiques.
*
*
*
*
Gurbles faisait un tour de la salle annexe en titubant. lljeta un coup d'oeil aux
nouveaux: appareils de croissance.
"Venez ici Mlle V, je vous en prie. Est-ce que ces courbes de croissance vous
paraissent normales?"
Mlle V, une femme elancee, portait son uniforme traditionnel vert ce jour-lao Elle
s'approcha pour voir ~ l'interieur de l'un de ces appareils de croissance.
"Bien, Gurbles, notre client a demande des cheveux coleur d'or et des yeux violets.
Je ne suis pas sOre que l'on obtienne la bonne teinte pour les yeux:. Je pense que c'est cette
imbe'cile de Smith #54 qui a
compos~ Ie caryotype de celui-la~ Je croyais leur avoir dit de
la licencier. Si nous avons de la chance, les yeux: du foetus seront violets. "
a
"Si ce n'est pas Ie cas, Ie vendrons-nous Antonio? Nous devrions en demander
un bon prix. "
*
*
*
Sally et Bill entn~rent par la porte principale du batiment. Us s'assirent dans une
grande salle blanche sterilisee. La receptionniste retouma
ason poste.
"Gurbles et Mlle V vont vous rejoindre dans un instant."
Sally feuilleta des catalogues de couleurs.
"Regarde toutes les nuances dont nous avons Ie choix... c'est comme si on
choisissait de la peinture! Je l'adore!"
Bill s'assit, silenceux, puis il parcourut du regard les magazines. Sally cherchait
une couleur qui aurait eteun intermldiare entre celIe des cheveux de sa mere et celIe de sa
tante.
a
"M. et Mme Jones, Gurbles et Mlle V sont prets vous recevoir. Veuillez me
suivre. "
"Bonjour M. et Mme Jones," dit une voix qui venait d'un coin de la salle. "Mon
nom est Mlle V et c'est mon associt, Gurbles." Mlle V n;'adjusta ses lunettes. "Je vous en
prie, asseyez-vous-- tout d'abord, nous allons jeter un oeil i quelques formulaires et vous
signerez quelques papiers, au cas ou vous deciderez d'annuler Ie contrat. Ensuite, nous
pourrons parler."
Melle V tira des feuilles blanches du tiroir qui se trouvait sur Ie cot~ du bureau.
a
"La premi~re feuille est un contrat qui stipule que vous ne devrez parler personne
des procedures que vous verrez derriere ces portes. La seconde dit que nous ne pourrons
etre tenus pour reponsables, et Ie troisieme que vous devrez respecter ce contrat. "
Sally regarda Bill et dit, "Je signe ou tu signes?"
"Et si tu signais la premiere? Je signerais les deux autres?"
Sally et Bill parcoururent les documents du regard et signerent.
"Bien, commenjons," dit Melle V.
Gurbles apporta d'autres tchantillons de couleurs et les etala sur Ie bureau
metallique.
"Avez-vous d{cide de la couleur des cheveux et des yeux, M. et Mme Jones?"
demanda Gurbles.
"Eh bien, pas vraiment ... nous ne faisions que jeter un coup d'oeil. Je pense que
vous ~es la· pour... nous aider
achoisir.
II
"Si cela ne vous fait rien, Mme Jones, je serais curieuse de savoir pourquoi vous
a
avez d~ide' de vous adresser nos services," dit Mlle V. "faime poser cette question
a
tous nos clients, enfin... si je ne m'impose pas ... "
"Eh bien,
avrai dire, je suis une de ces femmes qui sont ala mode, Mlle V.
Pensez
au passe. Autrefois, il n'etait pas possible d'avoir un bebe'parfait qui ait eu les
caracteristiques que nous deSirons. fai toujours
aime avoir une rnaison conjUe amon
go~t, et pourquoi ne pas avoir un bebe conju de m~me?"
Bill consentit ca, "Oui, Sal et moi sommes tous deux des gens qui aiment
l'esthetique et il ne nous est pas possible d'imaginer que Sal prenne du poids, meme si c'est
temporaire. Nous prefererions qu'elle conserve son adorable tour de taille I."
Sally sourit, "Et vous savez, rna grand-mere m'a recont~ des histoires horribles
a
propos des verg~tures, et franchement, je ne pense pas qu'avoir un ventre rond comme une
montgolfiere dont rna grand mere me l'avait dit une fois, me convienne. De plus, je ne
supporte pas la douleur. Je me souviens de cette vieille bande dessin{e que j'ai lue et o~ il
y avait une femme qui disait qu'avoir un bebe, c'est comme faire passer une orange a
travers une narine. Je pense que c'est la raison pour laquelle je suis ici aujourd'hui."
Mlle V prenait des notes et disait, "Je vois."
Gurbles leur montra des couleurs en disent, "Voulez-vous commencer
couleurs?"
achoisir les
"Bill et moi voulons un enfant blanc. Notre choix clest portesur une fille. En ce
qui conceme la couleur de la peau, nous aimerions une teinte assez ptLe, mais pas jaun~re,
ou maladive. "
,
Gurbles leur montra la couleur de peau numero 156.
"Un grand nombre de nos clients ont
ele tres satisfaits de cette teinte.
Mlle V,
apportez donc Ie systeme informatique de composition d'images. Nous allons commencer
adresser un portrait. "
Une image en trois dimensions vint
al'ecran.
Mlle V introduisit Ie code de couleur
156 et la peau apparut sur l'image.
Sally serra Ie bras de Bill et dit, "N'est-ce pas adorable? C'est exactement ce que je
veux!"
,.
"Maintenant, aux yeux. A quelles couleurs avez-vous pense, M. et Mme Jones?"
Sally leva les yeux au plafond et dit, "Je voudrais quelque chose d'unique qui
s'accorde avec les cheveux... une couleur que les autres hilles lui envient, et qui lui donne
une grande popularite: "
"Nous avons une tn~s belle teinte de bleu, Mme Jones. Clest la couleur que prenait
la M~diterranee ala fin du printemps, avant que cette mer ne devienne Ie r~servoir de
de'chets toxiques qu'elle est actuellement aujourd'hui, ah ah, tenez, la voila, clest Ie numero
203. Comme vous pouvez Ie constater, clest une teinte claire et vive, avec une nuance de
vert, ce qui ne l'empeche pourtant pas d'Stre une couleur profonde."
Sally regarda Bill avec adoration.
"Qulest-ce que tu en penses, cheri?"
"C'est pas mal.. Ja s'accord presque avec Ie papier peint qui se trouve derriere ma
collection nautique virtuelle. "
Gurbles ajouta, "rai aussi cet adorable marron.. .le numero 560 ... comme vous
pouvez Ie voir, clest une couleur riche et claire ~ laquelle les mouchetures dortes ajoutent
de la profondeur... c'est, devrais-je dire, la sorte des yeux marron qui attire la vue."
Bill dit, "Hmmm .. ceux-ci ne seraient pas mal non pills."
"D y a aussi une option completement differente que Miss V et moi-m~me sommes
en train d'experimenter ... c'est tout nouveau et c'est tres plaisant. Tout d'abord, on prend
une couleur, essayons par exemple 1a couleur numero 203, et on prend deux autres que
"
,. une structure mosaique.
.'
'"
lIon melange
a 1a #203 pour creer
Le resultant
ressemble assez
..
aux vieilles tulles italiennes qui avaient une form de mosaique, et que l'on peut voir dans
les livres d'histoire informatiques. Laissez-moi vous la montrer."
Mlle Ventra la couleur #203 dans l'ordinateur, la recouvrit avec #340, la couleur
d'or, et puis #14, une turquoise; ensuite e11e pressa deux touches et les couleurs se
fondirent en un motif sur 1a couleur #203.
"Pour l'instant, ceci reste au niveau
experimenta~
et il nous est donc impossible de
dire comment ces couleurs se fondront 'dans 1a matiere' ... heh heh, un peu d'humour
genetique, mais nous pensons que notre ordinateur effectue une simulation assez r(aliste, "
dit Gurbles.
Sally et Bill se regardaient, muets d'admiration.
"B~ c'est 1a couleur que j'aimerais. faime cette sorte de mosai"que ... penses-y: on
pourrait m~e carreler sa chambre de sorte ace qu'elle s'accorde avec ses yeux. ~a serait
amusant, non?"
"C'est vraiment etonnant, j'aimerais bien que mon ordinateur personnel puisse faire
,
ce truc. Allons-y, prenons ca. "
"D y a des millions d'autres combinaisons de couleurs, vous savez. Ne voudriezvous pas en essayer une autre?"
Sally et Bill se regarderent l'un l'autre, et ils hausserent les epaules.
Sally dit, "Non, je pense que je n'aurais pu faire du meilleur travail moi-nfeme. On
prend ces couleurs. "
Mlle Ventra les indications dans l'ordinateur. A present, l'image avait une tete
avec 1a peau de couleur #156 et les yeux de couleurs combinees.
"Et pour la couleur des cheveux?"
"Eh bien, pour commencer, j'aimerais une couleur de cheveux qui soit 'unie.'
Yaimerais que ma petite fille ait des cheveux qui soient de la meme couleur de la racine
a
la pointe. Je veux qu'ils soient abondants."
"Ca nlest sera pas un probleme, Mme Jones. Et pour 1a couleur?"
"Bill et moi voulons une couleur qui se rapproche de celIe que les femmes ont de
mon cat~. Elles ont de tres beaux cheveux noirs. Etant donne que Bill est blond, il y a
tres peu de chances pour que notre fille ait des cheveux noirs. "
"Comme vous pouvez Ie constater, nous avons plus de 2000 nuances de noir."
Sally promena son doigt sur certaines couleurs. Elle les examina jusqu'a ce qu'elle
en ait trouv~ une qui lui a pm, et elle indique la couleur preferee.
I!'
'"
_-I:: •
"Celle-1a me plaIt!
Le numero
1,329... e11e est pCU.Lalte."
"Mme Jones, je dois admettre que clest une de mes prefe'iles. Cette couleur a 1a
profondeur de celIe d'un ciel nocturne; pourtant, lorsqu'on 1a regarde de plus pres, on peut
y voir une nuance de bieu-violet. "
Billlisait un magazine sur la p~che alors que Mlle V entrait dans l'ordinateur la
couleur numero 1,329. Une longue chevelure au volume parfait prit place sur les epaules
du personnage qui etait
al'ecran.
Mlle V dit par reflexe, "C'est une fille saisissante!"
"Oh, mais clest loin d'etre fait, mes chers... 1l pr~sent, nous devons chercher des
traits pour son visage .. .je pense que vous serez tout d fait satisfaits du choix que nous
,.
vous proposons car il est ILLIMITE! Dites-nous Ie nom de la c'e}(~brite du personnage de
tableau ou de la statue que vous pr~ferez, et nous pouvons en faire un double pour vous. "
Sally tira la magazine des mains de Bill et dit, "Ecoute un peu! Nous avons
l'occasion de faire de notre future petite fille LA PLUS BELLE du monde!"
Bill se leva les yeux, etonn;'
"Mais cherie, la beaute' est une chose si...ce que je trouve beau nlest pas forcement
ce que tu trouves joli. Je pense que nous devrlons lui donner un visage qui ne soit pas
desagnfable
aregarder et qui ne soit jamais demode: "
Bill commen~a acaresser Ie bout des doigts de Sally.
Gurbles dit, "Avez-vous pens~ au visage des statues grecques classiques? Ce type
a
de visage ne se demode jamais. Personnellement, je vous conseille de penser un nez
classique, comme celui de la Veims de Milo."
Sally regarda Ie nez en question.
"C'est vrai, il est joli et en plus, il est celebre."
MIle V rajouta Ie nez au visage qui e'tait sur l'image.
"Je vous suggere des levres dont la couleur rappelle celle des boutons de rose."
a
Bill et Sally y acquiescerent. MIle V rajouta les levres l'image. Elles ctaient un
'" trop.
peu charnues, sans pour autant l'etre
"Et la forme du visage? Nous avons la forme en coeur, la forme caree, ovale,
triangulaire, des pommettes hautes, basses et nous pouvons aussi les modifier pour obtenir
01 •
ce que vous desrrez. II
Sally dit, "A moins que Bill ne soit pas d'accord avec moi, jlaimerais un beau visage
de forme carree avec une machoire plus etroite et des pommettes tres hautes, saillantes et
bien dessin~es. II
Bill pressa la main de Sally. "Cherie, tu fais comme il te platt. De toute facon,
f
j'aimerai notre petit fille peu importe qui qu'elle soit et a quoi elle ressemble."
a
MIle V ajouta ces qualites l'image.
"Maintenant, les sourcils... clairsem~s, touifus, arrondis, en pointe, bas, haute ... "
Sally interrompit Gurbles.
"Gurbles, je veux des sourcils qui soient clairsem~s, hauts sur Ie visage et qui
forment une ravissante courbe, un peu comme ceux des femmes que l'on voit sur les
./
tableaux des annees 1920 ... "
Mlle V installa les sourcils sur l'image. L'image etait complete.
"A present, illui faut un corps."
Bill se redressa brusquement dans sa chaise.
"C'est maintenant que j'inteIViens. Je ne veux pas un corps qui ait des attributs
trop g~ereux comme ceux des robots ~ sexe. Je n'ai pas envie de passer ma vie
achasser
des hommes qui lui tournent autour avec mon pistolet laser."
Le visage de sally se contorsionna de deception.
"Je croyais que tu m'avais dit que je pourrais choisir Ie corps que je veux, Bill."
Sally et Bill se disputaient pendant que Mlle V et Gurbles visionnaient les
differentes possibilites concernant les caracte'ristiques du corps. Apn?s avoir considere'"
toutes les options, Mlle V mit sous la t~te Ie corps de la Venus de Milo et une paire de
bras.
Gurbles dit, "M. et Mme Jones, je trouve que Ie corps de la Venus va tres bien.
Regardez: elle est classique, bien proportiom;'e, elle n'aura pas Ii ctre complexee par son
corps plus tard dans la vie."
Mlle V tira d'autres feuilles du tiroir. "Ce sont les avantages dont vous
beneficierez lorsque vous aurez votre enfant. Vous remarquez qu'elle sera immunis~e
contre toutes les maladies, m~me contre Ie rhume Ie plus banal.
a
n lui sera donc impossible
a
de trouver un pretexte pour rester la maison au lieu d'aller l'ecole ou au travail. Elle
aura la masse musculaire maximale qu'une femme puisse avoir. Elle sera grande et il ne lui
sera pas possible de prendre du poids. Elle n'aura pas d'acnependant la puberte'. Ses
cycles menstruels commenceront Ie jour de ses 14 ans et elle atteindra sa menopause
a
l'age de 60 ans. Lorsqu'elle mourra, ce sera d'une cause naturelle ou d'un accident. Nous
guarantissons qu'elle ne pourra d~ceder des suites d'une maladie stupide comme Ie cancer.
Elle devrait mourir paisiblement lorsqu'elle aura it peu pres 100 ans, lorsque ses organes
seront us{s. Mlle V tendit les feuilles ~ Sally. A pre-sent, Sally, nous allons pnHever
quelques uns de vos ovules afin d'en modifier un selon vos desirs. L'operation ne va
prendre que quelques minutes. Veuillez me suivre. M. Jones, vous pouvez rester avec
Gurbles."
Bill suivit des yeux Sally qui sortait de la salle avec MIle V.
"Je pense a toi, ch~rie."
Elles disparurent derri<ke une porte dans un autre secteur du b~iment. MIle V
conduisit Sally dans des couloirs bleus eclaires par des n:ons.
"Ce n'est pas tr~s bon pour mon maquillage, MIle V. Vous devez detester
travailler dans cette section.
"Je ne porte jamais de maquillage, done ja ne me derange pas. C'est par ht"
Elles entr~rent dans la salle ou M. Shortbread travaillait.
"C'est M. Shortbread et c'est la salle o~ nous cultivons les fruits que nous avons
obtenus par manipulation g~etique. faimerais dresser votre portrait aM. Shortbread car
c'est lui qui va suivre revolution geite'tique du foetus.
"Bonjour, M. Shortbead. Mon nom est Sally.
n me semble que vous faites un
travail passionnant dans cette salle."
M. Shortbread etait en train d'examiner l'une des plantes.
n se leva les yeux pour
voir Sally.
,..
"Ah oui. Ravi de vous conaitre m'dame."
"Prenez bien note de ce que je vais vous dire, M. Shortbread."
"Oui"
"Sally a 27 ans. Son marl, Bill, a 32 ans. Elle mesure 1 m 58 et pese 43
kilogrammes. Elle vient de s'adresser ~ nous car eolle n'est pas satisfaite de ses
dispositions gen&iques et elle veut une fille parfaite. "
"A mon avis, tout devrait aller pour Ie mieux avec elle. C'est une gentille petite
fille."
"Allons, un peu de professionalisme, M. Shortbread. Vous vous occuperez du
foetus. Vous surveillerez l'incubateur dans lequel il se dev~loppera et vous prendrez des
notes detaillees tout au long de sa croissance. Nous allons utiliser des techniques
relativement recentes. C'est pourquoi il est important pour Sally et moi que vous nous
consacriez toute votre attention."
"Bien
sar, Melle V.
C'est mon travail."
"Tr~s bien. A 2IhOO, M. Shortbread."
"Au revoir, M. Shortbread. rai ~t{ ravie de faire votre connaissance!"
Mlle V conduisit Sally dans une autre section du batiment. Elles entrerent dans
une petite salle. Elle etait tres bien ec1airee et contentait d'etranges ustensiles qui etaient
posees sur des tables. Une grande table equipee de sangles etait au milieu de la piece. Sur
Ie cote se trouvait une autre salle, plus petite.
"n faudrait que vous alliez dans cette petite salle et que vous vous deshabilliez.
Vous passerez l'un des peignoirs metalliques que vous trouverez al'interieur. Lorsque
vous aurez fini, reVenez ici. "
Sally entra dans la petite salle et ferma la porte derriere elle. Pendant ce temps,
Mlle V se glissa dans un combinaison metallique. Elle prit des gants et un masque. Elle
prepara les ustensiles dont elle aurait besoin. L'une d'elles ctait longue, etroite et
presentait une meche en son extremit{. Une autre ressemblait it une seringue. Sally rentta
dans 1a sale.
"Seigneur! Mlle V, vous paraissez tout afait diffe;.ente dans cette combinaison.
C'est un deguisement?"
Non, c'est seulement pour des raisons d'hygiene.
n faudrait que vous vous
allongiez sur la table."
Sally s'allongea et chercha la position la plus confortable sur la table metallique.
"Eh bien, si vous vendiez des fits, je ne crois pas que je vous en achetrez!"
Mlle V ne sourit pas.
"Cela ne va durer que quelques minutes. Je vais vous donner un anesthesiant; vous
a
vous re"veillerez peu pres dans 15 minutes."
MIle V injecta un produit dans Ie bras de Sally. Celle-ci s'endormit aussitot. MIle
V effectua l'operation et mit les ovules dans un appareil de conservation. Un quart d'heure
"illa,un peu d"·
'"
pills tard, Sally se reve
esonentee.
"Oh vous l'avez fait? Je ne sens aucune difference."
Ses bras et ses pieds etaient attache's.
"Pouvez-vous me detacher?"
MIle V ota les sangles.
"A pre'sent, vous pouvez aller vous habiller."
Apres avoir remis ses vctements, s'Stre lave"ie visage et s'etre regardee dans un
mirrior pour voir si quelque chose avait change dans son apparence, elle rejoignit Bill. Au
moment ou elle penetra dans la salle, Gurbles disait, "Vous pouvez retournez chez vous
maintenant. Je vous contacterai dans six semaines pour vous donner des nouvelles de la
croissance. Je vous conseille de la conduire a la maison.
encore un peu faible
n est possible que Sally soit
acause de l'anesthesie. "
Lorsque Bill et Sally sortirent, elle fut sur Ie point de s'evanouir
acause du produit.
Billl'aida ~ se diriger vers leur voiture electrique.
"Regarde, Sal, il pleut sur la bulle aujourd'hui. Je me demande comment c'est en
dehors."
Sally s'e'vanouit dans ses bras.
Elle dormait profondement.
n la deposa doucement dans la siege de la voiture.
n caressa de 1a main les cheveux noirs de sa femme, ses
joues, puis ses levres.
"Sally je sais que nous n'avons pas eu un mariage normal. Nous ne voulions pas
respecter la tradition, mais je me souviens de certaines paroles que l'on prononcait hors de
1
la Ceremonie d'un mariage traditionelle siec1e dernier .. .'pour Ie meilleur et pour Ie pire,
dans la richesse comme dans la pauvrete, dans la sante comme dans la maladie, jusqu'a ce
que la mort nous separe.' C'est ce que je t'ai promis pour toujours. Je te trouve tellement
,
belle... ca ne me fait rien si tu prends un peu de poids acause d'un bebe, oui, j'aime
vraiment tout de toi. "
Bill embrassa tendrement les levres de Sally et lui caressa la main. Elle commenca
areprendre connaissance.
>
Elle regard a Bill d'un air un peu surpris.
"Bill, pourquoi tu me regardes comme fa? Qu'est-ce qui est arrive?"
"Je viens de comprendrea quel point je t'aime."
"Oh... c'est adorable ... mais, qu'est-ce qui t'a fait riflechir
a~a?"
Pour toute reponse, Bill sourit et prit la place du conducteur.
n prit Ie tunnel qui
conduisait au nord vers leur quartier residentiel, qui etait sous la protection de la bulle.
a
"Repose-toi, chene. Nous serons bientot 1a maison."