CONFLICT RESOLUTION: FOR THE YOUNG AND NOT SO YOUNG!

Transcription

CONFLICT RESOLUTION: FOR THE
YOUNG AND NOT SO YOUNG!
How to support my child in conflict situations
and prevent bullying and cyberbullying
situations.
Welcoming words
Consultant trainer in conflict resolution
The Pacific Path Institute
Is a community organization, which has the mission of
preventing the emergence of psycho-sociological
problems affecting children, teenagers and adults
by building environments free of violence.
©Institut Pacifique-Commission scolaire
Beauce-Etchemin 2014 – Tous droits
réservés – Reproduction interdite
Objectives of the conference

Raise awareness among parents about conflict resolution.

Equipping parents to support their children in bullying and
cyberbullying situations.

Raise awareness among parents on their role in preventing
bullying and cyberbullying situations.
©Institut Pacifique-Commission scolaire Beauce-Etchemin 2014 – Tous
droits réservés – Reproduction interdite
Defining conflict
To come into collision, disagreement or in opposition
over interests, needs or values.
Conflict generally appears when one of the
individuals attemps to gain the upper hand or feels
wronged.
TO RESOLVE MY CONFLICTS PEACEFULLY
IN FOUR STEPS
©Institut Pacifique-Commission scolaire Beauce-Etchemin 2014 – Tous droits réservés – Reproduction interdite
BEING DIFFERENT BUT NOT INDIFFERENT
Conflict Resolution program in high school
In 4 steps
CALMING down
COMMUNICATE with the other
SEARCH solution to the problem
CHOOSE the best solution
©Institut Pacifique-Commission scolaire Beauce-Etchemin 2014 – Tous droits réservés – Reproduction interdite
Bullying:
A form of violence
Objectives

Understand what is bullying
 Distinction
between conflict and bullying
 Bullying and cyberbullying: precisions
 Perpetrators/ Victims/ Witnesses
 Capital role of the witnesses


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Prevention: school / parents
Intervention: school / parents / witnesses
Resources
A commun vision : bullying
Behavior, langage, act ou gestures, into the cyberspace as well,
done repeatetly, where forces between the individuals are
uneven, and has the effect of bringing feelings of distress to
the victim).
Bullying includes actions such as attacking physically or verbally,
making threats, spreading rumors, excluding or humiliate the
other.
Bullying & Cyberbullying
Bullying : an agression not a conflict
It takes many forms (direct ou indirect):
•
Verbally ou written (in cyberspace as well)
•
Physically
•
Sociale alienation (exclusion)
Cyberbullying: particularities
• The perpetrator can stay anonymus or pretend to be someone else
• Bullying can occur everywhere and at all times (when not in school)
• Words and images spread instantely and is unlimited
Conflict or bullying?
Conflict

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An opposition between two or more
students who don’t share the same
point of view.
Students involved are on an equal
footing: free to express their versions
or defend their point of view.
bullying situation



No identifiable victim, even if one of
the person feels he’s lost.

Conflit can be resolved with
negociation or mediation.

Conflit can sometimes lead to
violence. Acts of violence are treated,
sanctioned and registered by the
school principal or the intervenor (law
56).

An agression not a conflict.
bullying is a relation between two or
more students where one assaults the
other repeatetly.
Unequal balance of power.
The student who bullies imposes on
the other by using force.
bullying requires specific interventions.
Mediation is not the intervention to
use.
Acts of bullying are sanctioned and
registered by the school principal or
the intervenor. (law 56).
Bullying perpetrator …

Has difficulties in managing interpersonal conflits

Tends to attribute his hostile intentions to others

Has a great need to dominate; show lack of remorse

Thinks that agressivity is the best way to manage conflict situations

Can benefit from the « negative » leader status

In the long run, at risk of developing mental health problems and social adaptation
(Drug Addiction, criminality, conjugal violence…)

Can develop better strategies et learn more suited behaviors if the bullying
situation resolves itself quickly. MELS (2011)
Bullying perpetrator





Many students who bully claim to also have been victims of bullying or
rejection from the other students.
Their conduct calls for revenge, a quest for pleasure or an emotionnal
releasing.
A high number of students can become a perpetrator, especially in group
situation.
Contrary to the common belief, bullying is not specific to students having ayant
behavioral disorders.
Some of them will benefit from high social status, will be part of popular
groups of the school. MELS (2011), R. Gagné (2010)
Victim of bullying
All of us are susceptible of being bullied, but risk factors remain present.
Students who are subjected to bullying can :
• Appear more sensative, timid and nervous than the others;
• Be perceived as different from the rest of the group for some certain aspects;
• Have a compliant or passive behavior or tend to exclude themself when
living a conflict;
• Not have many close friends at school;
• Lack of social skills - Not be able to: understand and assimilate social
conventions, develop and maintain friendships, decode hostility, develop
effective defenses against attacks. MELS (2011), Gagné (2010)
Victim of bullying
Students are both victim and perpetrators:
•
Have a low level of social acceptance
•
Have more behavior problems et symptoms of depression
•
Have a lack of social competences and self-esteem.
R. Gagné (2010)
The Witnesses
Students witnesses can:
Be afraid of retributive attacks or be associated to the
victim, to the perpetrator or to the act of bullying;
 Be afraid to be perceived as the information provider
(stoolers);
 In some cases and in the long run, show the same
effects as a victim. MELS 2010

©Institut pacifique-Commission scolaire Beauce-Etchemin 2014 – Tous
The best intervention =
prevention
Educate the witnesses
Intervention strategies for the witnesses:


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Raise student’s awareness about the different types of violence and
their effects.
Explain the importance of denouncing.
Raise awarness on the power of intervention: « 57% of the acts
stops in less than 10 seconds when someone intervenes».

Invite student to intervene, don’t tolerate the law of silence.

Leave instead of continuing to observe.


Ask help for yourself or others and identifying resource personnel in
the school.
Denonce in all confidentiality.
Reporting
Reporting a situation of violence or
bullying is:
Saying no to an unacceptable
situation.
Defending a legitimate right ,
and refusing injustice.
Rat someone out is:
To cause harm to someone else.
For personal profit by being
against the other and causing
him harm.
Provide help for yourself or
others.
Systemic Approach
The parents
and the
community
In school
and in
class
environment
that protects
and where
differences
are
respected
The Students
• A safe and healthy
environment,
respectful for all
• Violence/bullying :
unacceptable
• Responsability for
climate protection
What to do if my child is victim from acts of bullying?



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
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Stay calm and take the time to listen (comfort)
Ask him to describe the situation (facts in details)
Speak with the teacher and the school principal
Encourage your child to report the perpetrator(s)
Mention to avoid any gestures of revenge
Encourage your child to stay near their friends (protection)
Advise to avoid places most favourable to bullying
Show support in researching solutions: create a game plan
(self-affirmation)
What to do when my child is perpetrating acts of bullying?





Stay calm
Make your child understand that you take this situation very
seriously and that you find bullying unacceptable (take
position)
Explain the gravity and the consequences of his acts or words
Explain to what he is exposing himself if he continues to
perpetrate acts of bullying (suspension, expulsion from school,
complaint to the police, judicial recourse)
Impose a consequence that you think is adapted to the
situation
What to do when my child is perpetrating acts of bullying?


Remind him the importance of respecting others despite their
differences
Contact the school principal to report the situation et receive
the proper support for your child

Investigate who are his friends et how spend their free time

Spend more time with him and supervise his activities.
What to say if my child is a witness?

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REACT when you see that one of your friends bullies
others.
PROTEST each time you are witness. If you protest, you
help make sure that it stops.
REFUSE all the time to spread rumours or send an
image(video) or an insultant message to someone.
SAFEGUARD the bullying messages to keep them as
proofs (cyberspace).
REPORT the incidents to an adult you can trust.
REPORT the bullying situation to the police if you have
evidence of threats you think are serious and dangerous.
Cyberbullying
Bullying used through information and communication
technologies (ICT):
-E-mail
-Text messaging
-Instant messaging (MSN)
-Personal Networking (personnel blog, My Space)
-Chatting (chat room)
-Social Networking (Facebook)
-Microbloging (Twitter)
-Interactives games with multiple players, etc
To reinforce the behavior that is hostile, intentional and
repetitive of an invididual or a group who seeks to hurt others.
(traduction libre de Bill Belsey. www.cyberbullying.ca)
Advice to prevent cyberbullying
–
Be an exemple: How do you behave in life and into cyberspace?
–
Initiate yourself to the Internet world:
–
Familiarising yourself with all the new power tools (parameters of
confidentiality, parental control, etc.) and with the technical jargon used;
–
As the saying goes: « An once of prevention is worth a pound of
cure. »;
–
Put the computer in a family room;
–
Install with your child his e-mail and chatting accounts to know what
informations he is transmitting online (protection);
–
Ask to consult his list of contacts to verify the identity of his
correspondants;
–
Remeber that kids under 13 years old are not allowed to be on
Facebook.
Advice to prevent cyberbullying
–
–
Discuss with your child of the sites he visits and the activities he is
practicing online.
Encourage your children to come see you each time someone says
or does something online that scares them or makes them
uncomfortable and stay calm.
–
Discuss the subject of cyberbullying.
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Limit the online time :
–
Limit to one hour a day the time exposure to a screen (television,
computer, ipad, videogames, etc) except when it’s used for school
homeworks.
–
Keep a social life outside cyberspace 
–
Be a model! Limit the time you are passing infront of the screen.
Prevent cyberbullying
–
–
Teach your child to not publish online anything that he is
not ready to show to the entire world and to you in
particular: Internet is a public space and is accessible
to all.
Report all cases of online harassment or threats to your
Internet supplier and/or to the police.
–
Safeguard every hateful messages as proof.
–
Encourage empathy (be able to understand and respect someone
else’s feeling).
–
Encourage et reward good behavior and rely on your
child’s strengths (self-esteem, recognition).
Law
According to Canada’s Criminal Code, a crime is to:
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Communicate repeatedly with someone to a point that makes him scare for his security or
the securitiy of his loved ones.
Write a text that is destined to insult a person or susceptible to tarnish his reputation, by
exposing him to hatred, to contemps or to ridicule.
It’s important to remember that an offender can be charged under legistation of the
Criminal Code as early as 12 years old and find himself before the Youth Tribunal under
the law of the young offenders act.
A person who violates the Canadian Law on it’s human rights, if it demonstrates hate or
discrimination based on : race, national or ethnic origin, color, religion, age, sexe, sexual
orientation, marital or family status and physical or mental handicaps.
Websites
www.logintothepositive.gouv.qc.ca
Minister of Education, Recreation and Sports
en.teljeunes.com
Tel-Jeunes
www.mediasmarts.ca
Canada’s center for digital and media literacy
www.rcmp-grc.gc.ca/cycp-cpcj
Centre for youth crime prevention: Royal Canadian Mounted Police
www.rcmp-grc.gc.ca/cycp-cpcj
Internet Safety: Royal Canadian Mounted Police
www.needhelpnow.ca
Canadian center for child’s protection
« IT’S NOT ENOUGH TO SHOW CHILDREN HOW
TO READ, WRITE AND COUNT. WE ALSO MUST
TEACH THEM TO HAVE RESPECT FOR ONE
ANOTHER AND FOR THE WORLD IN WICH WE
LIVE IN, AND SO CONTRIBUTING TOWARDS
BUILDING SOCIETIES THAT ARE FAIRER, MORE
OPEN AND HARMONIOUS. »
« IL NE SUFFIT PAS D'APPRENDRE AUX ENFANTS À LIRE, À ÉCRIRE ET À
COMPTER. IL FAUT AUSSI LEUR ENSEIGNER LE RESPECT DES AUTRES ET DU
MONDE DANS LEQUEL NOUS VIVONS, ET FAVORISER AINSI L'AVÈNEMENT
DE SOCIÉTÉS PLUS JUSTES, PLUS OUVERTES ET PLUS HARMONIEUSES. »
Secretary-General of the United Nations, Mr Ban Ki-moon

CONFLICT RESOLUTION: FOR THE YOUNG AND NOT SO YOUNG!

Transcription

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