le théatre pour rire du club fra çais

LE THÉATRE POUR RIRE DU CLUB FRAÇAIS
AU CAFÉ
Characters:
PAPA (father), MAMAN (mother), PETITE SOEUR (sister), FRERE (brother), BEBE (baby), GARÇON
(waiter)
Props:
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Table and chairs for the family
A chair in the corner for the waiter
A double-sided “Café” sign on the wall above waiter’s chair
A “menu” poster on the wall
Play:
The actors are sitting at the rear. The GARÇO is sitting under the “Café” sign. He is asleep. The 5 family
members run to the front of the scene and introduce themselves one by one:
The father, looking very tall, with a deep voice…
PAPA:
Bonjour. Je suis le papa.
The mother, looking happy, with a soft voice…
MAMAN:
Bonjour. Je suis la maman.
The little sister (She is young, bends her knees to show that she is small. She looks at Mum and Dad and
talks in a small shy voice. She waves.)
SOEUR:
Bonjour. Je suis la petite soeur.
The big brother (He is taller and hops. He waves.)
FRÈRE:
Bonjour. Je suis le grand frère.
The baby (Very shy, he hides behind Mum and holds a teddy)
BÉBÉ:
Bonjour. Je suis le bébé.
PAPA:
Allez! En voiture!
All five get into an imaginary car and cross the stage in the “car”.
Suddenly, Dad spots the “Café” sign. He stops the car abruptly.
PAPA ET MAMAN (with large gestures): Ah! Un café!
They get out of the “car” in a rush and sit heavily around the table as if exhausted.
The waiter is woken up by the noise and stretches his arms. He yawns.
GARÇON (shrugging his shoulders): C’est la vie!
He grabs the menu and takes it to the table to present it to the family (showing it to the audience as well).
GARÇON:
Bonjour messieurs dames!
FAMILLE:
Bonjour monsieur!
The baby gets up and points at a cup of tea.
BÉBÉ:
Qu’est-ce que c’est?
MAMAN:
Un thé.
LES ENFANTS: (disgusted) on, merci.
The brother points at a cup of coffee.
FRÈRE:
Qu’est-ce que c’est?
PAPA:
Un café.
LES ENFANTS: (disgusted) on, merci.
The sister points at the sandwich.
SOEUR:
Qu’est-ce que c’est?
MAMAN ET PAPA:
Un sandwich.
LES ENFANTS:
Miam miam! OUI! Un sandwich!
MAMAN ET PAPA: (correcting the children) Un sandwich, s’il vous plaît!
LES ENFANTS:
S’iiilll vououous plaaaîîît!!!
LES ENFANTS:
Et une limonade!
MAMAN ET PAPA:
Ah! on.
LES ENFANTS: (begging) S’il vous plaît!
MAMAN ET PAPA: (giving up and sighing- showing the numbers with their fingers) Bon d’accord. Cinq
sandwichs et trois limonades.
LES ENFANTS: (correcting) S’il vous plait!!!!!!!!!!!
MAMAN ET PAPA: (embarassed) S’il vous plaît.
LE GARÇON: (writing all this – showing the numbers with his fingers) Trois sandwichs et cinq
limonades.
MAMAN ET PAPA:
on non non!
LE GARÇON: (showing the numbers with his fingers) Deux sandwichs, deux limonades et deux cafés.
TOUS ENSEMBLE:
on non non!
LE GARÇON: (annoyed and sighing) Oh la la!
LA FAMILLE: (very loud) Cinq sandwichs et trois limonades S’IL VOUS PLAÎT!!!
The waiter comes back with the order, serves everyone as if very annoyed and goes back to his chair.
GARÇON: (sarcastic)
Bon appétit!
The family eats with great apetite.
MAMAN:
Délicieux!
PAPA: C’est combien?
LE GARÇON:
Pardon?
TOUS ENSEMBLE: (Très fort) C’est combien, s’il vous plaît?
LE GARÇON: (takes out his pad and a pencil) Cinq sandwichs (thinking and calculating) … Dix euros!
Trois limonades ... Trois Euros… Total?? (thinking again).
LE BÉBÉ:
Treize Euros!
The members of the family looking surprised, applaude.
PAPA: (paying)
Voilà Treize Euros. Merci, Monsieur. Aurevoir.
LES ENFANTS: (loudly) Au revoir!
The waiter grabs lazily the Café sign and turns it over.
The back of the card shows: CAFÉ FERMÉ.
He sits down, looks at the audience.
LE GARÇON: (to the audience): Au revoir.
He falls asleep.
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