Pierino-Porcospino by Heinrich Hoffmann

Pierino-Porcospino
by Heinrich Hoffmann
This book is the antidote to Disney. It is the opposite of all those nasty, sugar-sweet versions of Cinderella, the
Little Mermaid and worst of all Winnie-the-Pooh. (view spoiler)[Worst because Eeyore was, in the original, A.A.
Milne version, a sarcastic, depressive real loner of a donkey, not a sweet-natured stuffed toy. (hide spoiler)]
Struwwelpeter is all about children getting punished in the nastiest possible ways for their awful misdeeds. I loved
this book when I was a kid. I also loved Disney, but I grew out of that, except for Bambi. Have to love Bambi.
My two personal favourites of the stories are firstly, Conrad, aka Little Suck-a-Thumb who was told that if he didn't
stop plugging his mouth with his thumb he would get it cut off. And when he didn't and his mother was out, the
nasty Scissorman came and snip snap, both thumbs gone!
Secondly is Augustus, my no. one favourite, who starved himself to death rather than drink the nasty soup he was
served for lunch. I had some sympathy there as more than once I had to sit at the lunch table, even missing school
in the afternoon, because I wouldn't drink up the nasty chicken soup. (view spoiler)[I know that being Jewish
chicken soup is supposed to be in my dna, but it just isn't and I hate the stuff, loathe it (hide spoiler)] Or another
time, wouldn't eat the liver casserole, cold with congealed floating grease, or lamb chops glistening with fat...
These sort of stories were much more satisfying to me as a child being delightfully shivery.
But there was something else. Children have a very highly developed sense of justice. They are forever saying, "it's
not fair" about some perceived injustice. Stories like these where naughty children get their comeuppance appeal
to kids, they see the fitness of a punishment, rather than the forgiveness and sugary reward and happily-ever-after
od Disney that never actually comes their way when they've been very naughty little boys and girls.
You can read all the stories and see the original hand-coloured woodblock prints on the Gutenberg site.
|This is one of those picture books I grew up with, and so I have an unreasonable amount of love for it, even
|This is one of those picture books I grew up with, and so I have an unreasonable amount of love for it, even
though it's kind of awful? Credit goes to my German-speaking mom, although I'm not sure if she shared this book
with my siblings and me because she thought it was a funny book or was trying to scare us straight.
This is a German children's book first published in 1845, when society (particularly in Germany, I suspect) was
much in the mode of "spare the rod and spoil the child." No children being spoiled here! There are ten stories,
pretty much all intended to show the horrible things (maiming, death, etc.) that happen if you are a disobedient or
misbehaving child. For example:
In "Die gar traurige Geschichte mit dem Feuerzeug" (The Very Sad Story with the Match), a girl plays with matches
and is burned to death. A pile of ashes is all that remains of her. Her cats (who tried to warn her to stay away from
the matches) are crying a river of tears.
Just like my cat would if anything ever happened to me, I'm sure.
In "Die Geschichte vom Daumenlutscher" (The Story of the Thumb-Sucker)--my favorite as a child!--the mother
warns her son Konrad not to suck his thumbs, or the tailor (literally, the "cutter"), who apparently has nothing
better to do than scope around for thumb-sucking children, will come and snip them right off. But as soon she
leaves the house, pop! his thumb goes right back into his mouth. Suddenly this huge tailor leaps into the room
and cuts off his thumbs with a giant scissors! Bam!!
The last picture shows Konrad standing there sadly, with little stumps where his thumbs used to be. Good times!
And so it goes. It's even a tiny bit liberal for its time: There's a story about a guy hunting rabbits where a hare
grabs the gun while he's asleep and turns it on him (HAH! Take that!), and another where three boys who are
making fun of an African's dark skin are dipped in ink by a giant Nicholas so they can find out what it really means
to be black.
This line from the Wikipedia article on this book cracks me up: "Hoffmann wrote Struwwelpeter in reaction to the
lack of good children's books. Intending to buy a picture book as a Christmas present for his three-year-old son,
Hoffmann instead wrote and illustrated his own book." Okay, I thought this was hilarious as a child, but I'm not
sure sharing it with a 3 y/o is the way to go. But there it says, right on the title page: "Humorous stories and droll
pictures, for children 3-6 years old." I do NOT recommend this for the little ones, just for the record.
Anyway, this poetry book is a classic, in its own weird and gruesome way. And I read it many, many times as a
child, and I turned out fine! (SHUT UP!)
Here's a link to the original German version, free on Gutenberg, and here's another link to an English translation
that's pretty good, if a little loose.|I read these classic morality tales enough times as a kid that I knew large chunks
by heart. But, let's face it, back then they were seriously out of date, and now they're so archaic that they aren't
amusing even as kitsch. No wonder most children today haven't heard of them.
So why doesn't someone produce an updated edition? I'm sure it wouldn't be difficult. Here are some
suggestions:Scarlett, Who Read Glossy Women's Magazines And Died Of Anorexia
Keith, Who Didn't Believe In Climate Change And Was Drowned In A Flash Flood
Saffron, Who Ate Genetically Modified Food And Grew An Extra Head
James, Who Supported Liberal Healthcare Reform And Was Euthanased
Emily, Who Switched Off Her Family Filter And Was Raped By A Pedophile
Darren, Who Played Violent Video Games And Became A Serial Killer
Darren, Who Played Violent Video Games And Became A Serial Killer
Madison, Who Questioned The War On Terror And Was Exploded By An IslamicistFeel free to add your own. And if
anyone is inspired to actually go and do it, please just mention my name somewhere in the introduction...
|
This is some freaky shit.
|I read this innumerable times in English translation as a child, and still know a lot of it by heart... but somehow I
had never got around to looking at the German original. OMG, it is the most hysterically funny thing I have seen in
at least a month. My German is very, very poor, and even so I found it impossible not to laugh on almost every
page.
Here's a sample, courtesy of the Gutenberg version. If you also know the English Struwwelpeter, just try reading it
aloud while looking at the pictures, and you'll see what I mean. The contrast between the happy, bouncy rhymes
and the gruesome story of Paulinchen, who's too fond of playing with matches...
Die gar traurige Geschichte mit dem Feuerzeug
Paulinchen war allein zu Haus,
die Eltern waren beide aus.
Als sie nun durch das Zimmer sprang
mit leichtem Mut und Sing und Sang,
da sah sie plötzlich vor sich stehn
ein Feuerzeug, nett anzusehn.
»Ei,« sprach sie, »ei, wie schön und fein!
Das muß ein trefflich Spielzeug sein.
Ich zünde mir ein Hölzchen an,
wie’s oft die Mutter hat getan.«
Und Minz und Maunz, die Katzen,
erheben ihre Tatzen.
Sie drohen mit den Pfoten:
»Der Vater hat’s verboten!
Miau! Mio! Miau! Mio!
laß stehn! sonst brennst du lichterloh!«
Paulinchen hört die Katzen nicht!
Das Hölzchen brennt gar hell und licht,
das flackert lustig, knistert laut,
grad wie ihr’s auf dem Bilde schaut.
Paulinchen aber freut sich sehr
und sprang im Zimmer hin und her.
Doch Minz und Maunz, die Katzen,
erheben ihre Tatzen.
Sie drohen mit den Pfoten:
»Die Mutter hat’s verboten!
Miau! Mio! Miau! Mio!
wirf’s weg! sonst brennst du lichterloh!«
Doch weh! die Flamme faßt das Kleid,
Doch weh! die Flamme faßt das Kleid,
die Schürze brennt, es leuchtet weit.
Es brennt die Hand, es brennt das Haar,
es brennt das ganze Kind sogar.
Und Minz und Maunz, die schreien
gar jämmerlich zu zweien:
»Herbei! Herbei! Wer hilft geschwind?
In Feuer steht das ganze Kind!
Miau! Mio! Miau! Mio!
zu Hilf! das Kind brennt lichterloh!«
Verbrannt ist alles ganz und gar,
das arme Kind mit Haut und Haarein Häuflein Asche bleibt allein
und beide Schuh, so hübsch und fein.
Und Minz und Maunz, die kleinen,
die sitzen da und weinen:
»Miau! Mio! Miau! Mio!
wo sind die armen Eltern! wo?«
Und ihre Tränen fließen
wie’s Bächlein auf den Wiesen.